Train food

The other day I saw a fat guy eating on the train.

I love it when you see fat people eating. It just makes sense.

So anyway, there he was, sitting on one of the pull down seats. He was pretty fat. I mean, not massive, but just fat enough to squeeze into a pigeon hole labelled 'glutton'. Rather than, say, 'businessman on the move'. Saying that he didn't look out of place in this suburb.

There was his choice of food as well- Kebab and chips, in a flip-top carton.

The people around him seemed a bit pissed off by the pungent, fat and onions smell, which, lets be honest, can be pretty enticing at times.
The carriage was busy. I was standing up. The lady sitting next to him was definitely ticked off by the smell. The expression 'ticked off' came to mind there because of the way she kept sniffing and scrunching up the side of her face.

I felt like it was time for an adventure, and, I'll be honest, the fat and onions smell had sunk it's hooks into my stomach. I got off the train at the next stop and headed for a kebab shop. There's always a kebab place near the station so I knew it would be a doddle to find one. Sure enough, when I came out onto the street there was one right there.

Lamb Kebab, Chips and a can of Fanta. Cooked before my eyes and placed in a plastic bag, as fine as silk.

I got back on the train and found a good spot on a pull-down. Most of the other seats were taken. The fat and onions smell had already started to fill the carriage as I opened the bag. I pushed in the tab on the carton, the top flipped up, light as air, and the smell hit the other passangers square on the nose.

Now I had to decide on some conditions for this experiment. Namely, what kind of behaviour was appropriate.
Indignant: looking people flat in the face while loading strips of meat into my mouth.
Or apologetic: delicately picking out chips, humble-faced.
I go for the middle ground and attack the kebab while keeping eye contact to a minimum.

I hear some tutting over to my left. I keep chewing. When I look up I notice a few people looking at me. I take another bite and look back down to the ground. I notice a strip of onion stick to my shoe. Another bite. People get on at the next station and a guy stops near me. I can tell he's watching me. Strange how we can tell. I keep chewing.

I move on to the chips and start to get the heavy stomach. It's a nice but slightly guilty feeling. My throat feels a bit greasy so I crack open the Fanta to freshen up.

Yes, A most interesting experiment.